


Founder of the Franchise

by strikeyourcolors



Category: Batman (Comics), Batman - All Media Types, DCU (Comics), Under the Red Hood
Genre: Batfamily Feels, Comedy, Disney References, Family Fluff, Fluff, Gen, Locked In, The Robins are princesses
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-10
Updated: 2017-02-10
Packaged: 2018-09-23 05:50:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,215
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9643322
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/strikeyourcolors/pseuds/strikeyourcolors
Summary: The Batkids get accidentally locked in a vault and need to pass the time. Of course the best way to do this is to discuss which Disney princess each of them would be. Did I mention Dick is locked in the vault and it's probably his idea?Short, unrepentant fluff about the Robins and a Batgirl actually getting along. At least, not killing each other.





	

**Author's Note:**

> ...did I mention unrepentant fluff? A combination of comic-reading and Disney-movie watching spawned this as a kind of palate cleanser since I feel like all I've been writing lately is heavy. When I've been writing at all! So I hope you enjoy this short little blurb.

“To get this out of the way,” Steph said. “Cass is totally Mulan. Dudes underestimate her and she kicks their asses. She has the dark hair. I would totally believe she saved China.” 

“Like she's doing right now?” Dick questioned. “But, yeah. Cass is Mulan.” 

“Why are we assigning cartoon characters to ourselves for comparison?” Damian asked. “This is foolish. If you want out of the safe, blow the door off its hinges.” 

“Or wait fifteen minutes until it opens on its own,” Dick replied. “And they're not just cartoon characters. They are _Disney Princesses_.” He still couldn't believe the five of them had gotten locked in Bruce's larger, walk-in safe. The door had slammed shut behind them and though Dick had overridden the lock code, it would still take the damn thing twenty minutes to reboot. The first five minutes had not gone well, with Jason's claustrophobia and Tim trying to stay out of Jason's arm reach and Steph examining every artifact and Damian...being Damian. 

“I want Belle,” Tim decided. “I like books and don't think beauty is important.” 

“Obviously,” Jason said. 

“Hey!” Steph protested. “And you can't be Belle. Oracle is Belle. She's a librarian and everything.” 

“You better not be implying I'm the Beast,” Dick told her as he tried to pry explosive pellets out of Damian's hand without blowing any of their fingers off. 

“You'd be Gaston at best,” Tim replied. “But, fine. Barbara can be Belle. I look terrible in yellow anyway.” He sighed. Jason edged toward him. Tim crept the other direction, ignoring the fact that Jason looked like a shark that had spotted a particularly delicious minnow. 

“Who am I?” Stephanie inquired, batting her eyelashes. “Name me a princess, boys.” 

“Are we going by hair?” Dick asked. “Because that leaves you with plenty of options.”

“Tiana,” Tim answered automatically. “You work hard and you've established that weird dreams of putting on the Batgirl suit really do come true.” 

“They'll come true for you too one day, Timbo,” Jason added. “Don't worry.” 

Tim's eyes narrowed so Dick stepped in. “I want to be Jasmine.” 

“I'm pretty sure you would appreciate being a prize to be won,” Tim commented. “Like I think having a bunch of rich suitors compete for your hand and compliment your beauty is one of your top five goals in life.” 

“It is not,” Dick argued. “Well. Maybe top ten.” 

“Then _I_ will be Jasmine,” Damian said, hoisting himself to sit on one of the tables. He knocked a couple of metal safe boxes off, but whatever was inside them didn't make too much of a noise. Hopefully it wasn't breakable. “I would like a tiger and I would train it to bite people.” 

“Dibs on Ariel.” Tim could only try again, really. 

“You can't call dibs and you can't be Ariel because Damian is Ariel,” Steph corrected. “Issues with disobeying Daddy. Sick fascination with being part of the human world...” 

“Like he would ever give up his voice,” Tim snapped. “Or want to be where the people are. That's bullshit.” 

“Maybe Merida,” Dick offered, gazing at Damian like he was imagining him in a bright red wig. “He wants to change his fate. I bet if we staged an archery competition he'd win his own hand in marriage.” 

“After shooting the other competitors,” Tim muttered. 

“Kid after my own heart,” Jason sighed fondly. “What about Aurora? You sleep in weird places.”

“I'd rather not get sleep-kissed.” Tim shifted away as Jason moved forward. “Stay away from me! Stay on your own side of the vault!” Dick subtly moved between them. Damian watched with glee. 

“Ha! Rapunzel!” Steph shouted, pointing at Tim. “You practice all these weird skills to the point of perfection. You've been known to go AWOL in search of a dream. And if anyone could lead a tavern full of murderous villains in a musical number, it would be you.” 

“Or me,” Dick protested. “I could establish a karaoke night!” He looked so crestfallen that they had to momentarily wonder if they'd claimed his favorite character. “I want a princess.” 

“Cinderella,” Tim suggested. “You have courage and are kind. It's also like how she followed after Snow White and everyone thought she was super sexy.” 

Dick considered the merits of this. 

“Anna,” Damian replied. “I accept my position as Jasmine, by the way. But you have an insipid need to reach out to people and you just keep trying when it ends catastrophically.” He gestured to Jason. “Case in point.” 

“Anna's not an official princess,” Tim pointed out. “You picked Rapunzel because I knit, didn't you?”

“And wonder when your life will begin,” Stephanie agreed. “But let's go with Anna for Dick. Which means...” Her gaze fell to Jason and she started laughing. 

“What?” He asked. 

“Elsa,” Dick said, eyes bright as he approached him. “You're Elsa. Building ice palaces around your heart and shutting us all out.” 

“Grayson, you do realize you are not actually turning into a princess?” Damian was rather disturbed. He wondered if he could blow the door off the safe just yet. He checked his watch. Three minutes.

“Also not an official princess!” Tim waved his arms in the air. No one cared. “Also, no, he's Ariel. Daddy issues forever and all his information about human interactions come from a talking seagull.”   
No one could really argue that Jason's people skills were better than to have come from a talking seagull, so no one did. “Bruce and Alfred,” Stephanie said. Tim sulked. 

“Snow White for Alfred. He cooks and cleans for all of us and I imagine he must be dreaming one day his prince will come.” 

“His prince in the form of a maid service?” Damian countered. “Father may be Cinderella. He founded the franchise.” 

They all thought it over for a moment. “He does look good in blue,” Tim reluctantly agreed. 

Dick had edged up to Jason. Jason looked a little disturbed. “Do you want to build a batcave?”

“What the fuck?” Jason asked, looking for an exit. 

Stephanie giggled. Tim tried to get out of harm's way. He wondered what kind of human shield Damian would make. The lock on the door clicked. They all looked at it, but Jason rushed there first.

“It doesn't have to be a bat cave,” Dick sang from behind him, grabbing onto his arm. 

Jason wrenched the door open with his free hand. “Go away, Dick!” He backhanded him but Dick seemed to expect it, simply rolling away as Jason stormed out. 

“Okay byyyyye,” He intoned sadly. Stephanie was still giggling. Even Tim had to snort a little bit as he gave Dick a hand to help him back to his feet. 

“Hey,” Stephanie said. “You know that Halloween party is coming up...” 

“No,” Damian replied. “Absolutely not.” He seemed to reconsider. “At least, not without a real tiger.” He trailed out after Dick, who was still humming. 

“He's going to be singing that forever,” Tim noted, hoping if he ignored Stephanie's implications then they would go away on their own. “You've created a monster.”

“That, Princess Timothy, is not our problem.” Stephanie smiled. “You want to suggest this for next movie night? Because I want to suggest this for next movie night.” 

Tim couldn't argue with that.


End file.
